1st time back at the gym

I went to the gym today. I decided that I would work out and make it hurt physically till my heart didn't hurt quite so bad.  I didn't eat before I went.. major mistake. Coupled with the fact that it has been honestly maybe a year since I have had a real workout. To get me back into the swing of things I have booked a session with a trainer tomorrow. I asked for the meanest one they have... because I love a workout that leaves me feeling like jello and out of breath. I cant just sit here in limbo. I cant just sit here not trying to accomplish my goals. I cried today... I cried alot...after I came home from the gym. I have to go though. I have to start I have to make myself live. I will fake it till I make it. Today I did a little elliptical about 3/4 of a mile big accomplishment because I hate the elliptical.. I much prefer the treadmill... and I did about 40 squats on the squat machine 2 reps of 20 on 100lbs resistance... then I hit a shoulder machine. At that point my sugar bottomed out. I did a set of 20 reps on it but I cant remember the weight.. So not much. I did however feel the burn...I broke a sweat because I kept going from one thing to another to keep my heart rate up. Speaking of heart rate... I am really thinking of getting a monitor because I would like to know how I am doing...have like a real record of it. I am going to make an effort to move the rest of the day. I am going to make an effort to track what I eat. I will be weighing in Saturday. I fully expect a gain from the previous weigh in. I am back...maybe not 100% but I will get there...