Hello....hello....is this thing on?

 I am 30 almost 31 years old. I am a stay at home mom. I have two little monsters. A 3 year old and almost 2 year old. I am from the South. Georgia to be exact. I am a cook...  a damn good one or so my husband says. Really though cooking is my passion. I love to get in the kitchen and bake. Make elaborate from scratch meals. It's not work to me because I love it so much. Hours in the kitchen most of the time feel like moments. I am not saying I am a professional... I wish. I would probably go to culinary school in a minute. Being in love with the kitchen and cooking has became a downfall for me though. Because I don't just like to cook. I like to eat too...  Don't think because I say I love to cook from scratch that I don't make food from the box either. My husband is a very big fan of Hamburger Helper. I was raised on it. Not all southern women can cook...that's just a fairy story. I am looking at you Mom.  I am not saying she can't cook anything. Let's just say... what hasn't killed us has only made us stronger.  Yes she knows I say that...because it is a running joke. She has ate her own cooking. But to her credit in the past few years she really has improved and is now a good cook...as long as she doesn't try to invent something new.

  I have never been skinny. Smaller than I am now yes ... but skinny no. I remember always being the biggest person in the room. I also am the mom that doesn't have hardly any pictures of herself.. and to date no family pictures. So many years of being told "but you have such a pretty face". That's a real back assed way to tell someone they are fat.. So just don't.  Take a good dose of if you can't say anything nice... then shut the hell up. Seriously!  I would just like to say for all the fat girls out there... guess what we know what size we are... We don't need you to tell us. Everyone of us know the size of our ass. We are absolutely familiar with it. So please keep your  assessment to yourself... I don't need your input on it... I look in the mirror everyday... I know what I look like...  This is going to be my place to talk about my feelings on my journey from fat and unhappy to healthy and happy.  Because blogging is cheaper than therapy.  Plus I usually do some of my best thinking on paper.

I just weighed 4/7 and I tipped the scale at a lovely 261.4 lbs. Did you hear the sarcasm? No, well trust me there was sarcasm dripping in it. My next weigh in is 4/14. I like to do my weigh -ins on Saturday. Don't ask me why. It's probably Weight Watchers fault. I used to go to meetings on Saturday...and have a cheat day after. Oh the yo-yo damage that plan caused me. Not Weight Watchers that worked for me... The cheat days get me in trouble every time...  I generally eat between 1200-1550 calories. I never go below 1200 and I try to always stay below 1550. I like to set mini goals. My first mini goal is to get down to 220lbs. Which is what I was last year at this time... before I fell off the weight loss band wagon...and then the wagon backed up and ran over me again. It's taken me months of recovering from the concussion the wagon gave me to even find my way back on track..  I may post some of my food diaries.. I may not. I will probably post some recipes so I can remember them. I want to make it clear right now. I am not a nutritionist.. I am not a dietician. I am a mom of two very active boys... one hubby who likes to eat (and the ass doesn't gain an ounce). I love to cook... So I am going to try to find a way to bake my cake and eat it too....  I won't always be a good girl...  I have wicked tendencies what can I say.