My Grandpa died.

I cant describe how broken my heart is. I dont know how it still beats. I wake up crying and fall asleep crying. Sometimes I can keep myself busy and forget for a second. Forget that the person who loved me like a daughter is gone. Forget that the man that held my hand thru life till I thought I was big enough and strong enough to walk on my own...is not here to hold it again if I need him. Forget... that the man who smiled and loved my babies the way he loved me isnt here to love them.. They wont grow up with him they wont have the adventures only he can give. I have so many regrets from the past few years of not spending more time with him. God I wished I had it all to do over again. I wish I could wake up as a baby tomorrow in his arms. Id go thru cancer again...I dont care what it took just to have him back.